The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at
the end of it. The next day the kids came back and
one-by-one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of
egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs
to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup
when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs
went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family
are farmers, too. But, we raise chickens for the meat
market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they
hatched we only got ten live chicks. And, the moral to
this story is: 'Don't count your chickens before they're
hatched'."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a
story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my
Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in
'Desert Storm' and her plane got hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory. All she had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. She drank
the whiskey on the way down, so it wouldn't break.
Then, she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy
troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine
gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty
more with the machete 'till the blade broke. And, then,
she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens!" said the horrified teacher, "What kind
of moral did your Daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the hell away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."